DOES YOUR 2-5 YEAR OLD LISTEN TO YOU? NO!!!!? I wonder why! Kids are just checking for boundaries when they act up. When they don’t listen to verbal warnings they are basically saying “what are you going to do about it mom”. They want to feel safe knowing that when they step out of line in they’re typical childlike behavior there is someone at the steering wheel of that family in charge. Sadly what I see a lot of is parents putting the child at the steering wheel, giving them too many discussions and options. This is a big mistake! You are the parent and you make the decisions, there CAN be discussions but YOU are still at the steering wheel. You don’t resort to begging and pleading with your child or repeating yourself 1000 times! Believe me they’ve tuned you out. When it gets to that point you have to remind the child they are in the passenger seat and you are driving the car. HOW? Children feel a deep insecurity when their parent does not know how to control their bad behavior. Thats your primary job, to teach them how to behave in this world. A child needs boundaries, a parent truly in charge, does more than just talking and give warnings! All they hear is blah blah blah… they’re thinking,she’s not going to do anything about it anyway so why should I stop! The warnings shouldn’t be just “stop” they should be “stop or this will happen” 3 times. Then follow up with what will happen so your child will see you are consistant. My favorite repercussions are empty/load dishwasher – water grass – sort laundry – go to bed early – something they don’t like to do.. there are thousands of things that are age specific, google it…. Its diff for all families, those chores work for my kids. Repercussions don’t have to be spanking and time outs. Get creative. Oh and if you are a working parent, don’t parent from guilt. Do the above and it doesn’t matter if you work 4 or 12 hour days, your child will love you no matter what. Love is there automatically, you don’t get more love by buying more toys or giving them their own way, or being afraid to upset them with discipline. You get confused children. Children feel your love, caring, and passion for them through your discipline, because it takes energy and love to care enough to do it and do it properly! If you were disciplined wrong as a child you can discipline right with your child. Don’t go to the extreme because of your bad experiences. If YOU don’t discipline with love in the home someone out there in the world who doesn’t love your child will discipline them without love. People are not going to have the same patience of a parent. So its important to figure this out now while they are young. It gets harder the longer you wait. Discipline from a parent is an act of love.
DISCIPLINE IN THE DANCE CLASS.
Well as a dance teacher I’m there to teach dance but I realize with all my years experience that I am also there to be a help to first time parents going to a dance studio. If you follow the above recommendations, that makes my job a heck of a lot easier by the time they get to dance school. I have your child a couple of hours a week, you have them 100’s of hours. I rarely have discipline issues because most kids are perfect right! lol! Every child goes through some sort of misbehavior and you just have to know how to deal with it. I try to teach parents coping mechanisms. Its really hard for new parents coming in to a dance class with a 2-4 year old “screamer”. They panic, and begin to think “oh my gosh why is my child screaming and the others are not.” Then they blame themselves. They feel embarrassed and frustrated. Not a great way to start your day. I feel so sorry for them. So here are some tips. Dance class is for dancing not screaming or crying. Reception area IS for screaming or crying lol!. And its ok! If they scream/cry after trying to console them and it doesn’t work, mom takes them out to the reception area and the conversations goes something like this…..
“its ok if you want to cry little judy, you are not hurt, I love you, now let me give you a hug. Now little Judy…I’m going to read a magazine until you stop crying. You can’t be in there dancing if you are crying. Go ahead and cry and when you are ready to stop I’ll go back in with you”. THAT’S IT. As soon as they stop, Mom brings them in and sits on the sidelines. Again, as soon as they start crying mom brings them out right away. In my experience it only happens to the odd child once in a while and if you do the above it takes 1 or 2 classes to sort this out. If mom has to do the in and out of the class 20 times then thats what she has to do! SIMPLE! What do they learn. They learn if they are crying they are in the reception free to cry, and if they are laughing and dancing and getting sticker and stamps they are in the dance class with mom & me. Its just training. They figure it out. My own child was a screamer at 3 yrs old. I used to go into a cold sweat dealing with her. Three kids later, 15 years of glorious preschool experience and 30 years teaching dance I’ve learned a few things. One thing you have to remember is we are on your side. No one is looking at you judging you and if they are… Hmmm, they can go home. Keep in mind that besides yours truly, other parents are there to help you because we’ve all been through it. After your first week you’ll be the one helping the next new parent… and the cycle begins once again. Same movie, different stars 🙂 Watch for your name as the credit rolls 🙂